Al Franken On SNL
"We're entering the Al Franken Decade."

Facts:
As a performer: 9 seasons (77-80, 86, 89-94
As a writer: 16 seasons (75-80, 86-95)

SNL Characters
Himself
Henry Kissinger
One-Man Mobile Uplink Unit reporter
Pat Robertson
Senator Paul Simon
Stuart Smalley
Paul Tsongas
Lex Luther
Ranger in Hanz and Franz
Townfolk in "Night of the Masturbating Zombie."

Limo for the Lamo
From 1970s

Okay, so I get in the cab and I start thinking, "How did this happen to me, Al Franken?" And I figured it happened because I was trying to get a cab-I should have a limousine. I mean let's be reasonable. Here I am, Al Franken, one of the NBC's few bright spots and I'm forced to compete for taxis with you ordinary people out on the street. So I start thinking, "Who does NBC give limos to anyway?" Okay, now there are some cast members here on Saturday Night Live who'd do get limousine service from NBC, and I'm not going to complain about that. These people are my friends and it would seem a bit petty.

Okay, anyway, I found out that NBC gives limousines to Tom Snyder and to Gary Coleman. Now taste aside, these guys do star in their own shows so I can't really complain about them either. But now get this: You know who gets complete door-to-door limousine service form NBC? Fred Silverman. Now here's a guy who is a total unequivocal failure. The guy's been here two years and he hasn't done diddly squat, and he get's a limo. Now here's a list of top ten rated shows this season in TV. Now there's some A's there, some B's, some C's some S's, you see those? You see any N's? Not one N. Why? 'Cause Silverman is a lamo. I call it Limo for a Lamo.

Okay, now this is where you come in, and you can help me, Al Franken. I want all of you to write NBC and pressure them to get me a limo. Just send a letter or a postcard to: Get Al Franken a Limo, care of Fred Silverman, NBC-TV, 30 Rockefeller Plaza, New York, NY 10020 (Editor Note: Not valid now. Al did get a reaction from Silverman. Silverman was very hurt and angered at the sketch and he later made sure Al would never become an executive producer of SNL)

Al Franken Decade
People are going to stop thinking about themselves and start thinking about me, Al Franken. That's right. I believe we're entering the Al Franken decade. Oh, for me, Al Franken, the eighties will be pretty much the same as the seventies. But for you, when you see a news report you'll be thinking "I wonder what Al Franken thinks about this?" "I wonder how this inflation thing is hurting Al Franken?" And you women will be thinking "What can I wear that will please Al Franken?" or "What can I not wear?" A lot of you are probally thinking "Why Al Franken?" Well, because I thought of it, and I'm on TV.

Source: Saturday Night Live: The First Twenty Years.
An abbreviated list of television appearances Al has made.

  • "New York Friar Club Roast of Chevy Chase, The" (2002). Roaster
  • "Clerks" (2000). Mayor of Leonardo. Voice.
  • "From the Earth to the Moon." (1998). Presidential Science Advisor Jerome Weisner
  • "The Rutles." (1978). Decline's Henchman
  • "The Perfect Pitch." (2002). Himself
  • "TV's Most Censored Moments." (2002). Himself
  • "Saturday Night Live: 25th Anniversary." (1999). Himself
  • "Gilda Radner: The E! True Hollywood Story." (1997). Himself
  • "Franken and Davis at Stockton State." (1984). Himself
  • "Larry Sanders Show, The" (2/19/97). Himself
  • "Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist" (1995). Himself
  • "Jeopardy!" - during "Washington Power Players Week." Himself
  • "Late Late Show with Tom Snyder, The." Numerous. Himself
  • "Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn, The." Numerous. Himself
  • "3rd Rock from the Sun" (1996) playing "Frank Gansmiller" in episode: "Dick the Vote"
  • "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." Numerous. Himself
  • "The O'Reilly Factor." Numerous. Himself
  • "Hannity and Colmes." Numerous. Himself
  • "Larry King Live." Numerous. Himself
  • "The Edge with Paula Zahn." Numerous. Himself
  • "Equal Time." Numerous. Himself
  • "The Tonight Show." Numerous. Himself
  • "Late Show with David Letterman." Numerous. Himself
  • "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher." Numerous. Himself / Writer / Performer

    Stuart Smalley SNL Skits

  • Skit 1. First show. Stuart panics, after having blown a previous show. "That's okay . . . because it's my panic, and I own it.
  • Skit 2. A hair replacement infomercial displaces Stuart to late night. This angers Stuart, but he is reminded that he must control the anger that once scared him. "So I stuffed my anger. And I stuffed my face. And that's why I weighed three hundred pounds."
  • Skit 3. "I am fun to be with. Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me. Well, not everybody. But that's their problem. And your problem. Okay, I'm sorry, this is not my best show." Stuart talks to overeaters. "I'm Stuart. I'm an over eater."
  • Skit 4. Stuart welcomes guest Michael Jordan. Stuart tells Michael that he probably wakes up at night, saying to himself "I'm not good enough, everybody's better than me, I'm not going to score any points." Stuart tells Michael to recite an affirmation: "Hello, Michael. I don't have to be a great basketball player. I don't have to dribble fast or throw the ball in the basket. Al I have to do is be the best Michael I can be."
  • Skit 5. Stuart is joined by his cousin (Kieffer Sutherland), who is a more successful self-help therapist. Stuart feels envy, but later forgives himself.
  • Skit 6. Stuart is joined nephew Kyle S. (Macaulay Culkin).
  • Skit 7. Stuart greets sister Jodie (Roseanne Arnold), a recovered overeater. "Look at you," Stuart says, "all in one chair!". She is also joined by ex-husband Bobby (Tom Arnold).
  • Skit 8. Stuart discusses politics, something he knows nothing about. "The Democrats keep nominating these co-dependents."
  • Skit 9. As a treat to his inner child, Stuart wears a skeleton for Halloween. "Because it's scary and because it reminds me I'm a human being. And that's okay . . . I think it makes me look thinner."
  • Skit 10. Stuart dreads spending the holidays with his parents but later: "I'm twenty pounds overweight, and no one will ever love me-except my parents. So I should go home."
  • Skit 11. Stuart is depressed by Valentines Day. "I learned what love is from my parents. Which is that you find that one special person who was placed on the planet just for you, and then put them through forty years of living hell."
  • Skit 12. Stuart is joined by Charles Barkley who calls Stuart "really messed up." Stuart senses suffering and brings in Muggsy Bogues. He tells Charles: "I know how badly you wanted to beat the bulls... And I love you!"
  • Skit 13. Stuart helps the Bobitts, (Rosie O'Donnel and Mike Myers) release their anger. He makes Lorena tell John's penis "Hello. I was very angry at you. But that doesn't make you a bad penis! I'm sorry I cut you off and threw you in a field. I'm glad they found you and reattached you."
  • Skit 14. Stuart's guest is Martin Lawrence. He confesses that "My father was a slave... His master was the bottle!"
  • Skit 15. Stuart talks with Al Gore. Stuart tries to help Gore get over the 2000 election with his wife Tipper.

    Source: Saturday Night Live: The First Twenty Years.
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